


P.S.S. I'm Still Not Over You

by strawberrylace



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Break Up, Closure, Heartbreak, Letters, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 00:39:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8349439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrylace/pseuds/strawberrylace
Summary: Weeks after their break-up, Poe finally finds the words to say everything he wished he said to Finn sooner





	

**Author's Note:**

> And now for something completely different, lots and lots of angst. Kind of semi-autobiographical, but alas, isn't that the beauty of writing though?  
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and let me know if you guys like it! Feel free to leave any feedback or you can always come find me on [Tumblr](http://www.coopershangover.tumblr.com)!  
> Thanks again for reading!

Dear Finn,

I can't tell you how many times I've rewritten this letter to you. I'm now debating if it's even worth writing it to you now, but I think it's worth a shot, so here it goes. 

It's been three weeks since we've broken up. I still replay that moment in my head when it gets lonely at night or if I've drank too much Pinot Nior. I still think it's my fault, even though you insisted I did nothing wrong. 

And yet, I still think I should've seen all the signs. Our lunch date should've been just like our first date, but going into it, I felt as though something was very off. The way my stomach turned the day of our date, something wasn't right. They weren't those nerves you get when you see someone you like for the first time in a while. Instead, it felt like I was being met with bad news. I hadn't seen you in a month and that was very telling. We always found time to talk, yes, but you became more distant, more aloof. I should've known that by the look on your face, you weren't all excited to see me with the news you brought.

"This isn't working out." It was the first thing you said to me when we sat down. In that moment, my heart was crushed. I tried to stay calm but in my head, I wanted to burst into flames. I was so taken aback by those words and everything you said right after.

"I think we both want different things right now." "We're not on the same wavelength anymore." "I think we should be friends."

Everything was like a punch to the face until you knocked me down on the ground. I felt so in the wrong as you assured me I did nothing wrong. Still, I couldn't help but think that I drove you to all of this. I was the reason we couldn't work out. I should've cried, I should've been angry with you, but instead, I sat there calm and speechless, not wanting to make a scene. 

The night you ended things was one of the worst nights of my life. I had so much I wanted to say to you but I couldn't say it. We had to be adults about this and while the thoughts were very childish, I knew that it wouldn't be fair for me to call you out on breaking my heart, when you tried to be so cavalier about the situation. I should've been grateful of the fact that you told me in person and that you wanted to talk about this. But I still had my rage that was waiting to get out of its cage and onto your voicemail. I'm sure that you got my drunk voicemail that night, slurring my words and begging you to take me back. Between the tears and the wine, I begged of you to allow us to try to work things out, but I'm glad you never called back. I felt so stupid that night. 

I thought I was doing pretty fine trying to forget about you until last night when I saw you at our old bar outside with a new beau. She looks lovely and you looked so happy. I remembered how happy we used to look walking out late at night, holding hands and looking up at the stars. What I would give to have those nights again with you. I didn't want to say anything to you and I know you saw me. I looked like a deer in headlights. So I ran. What could I possibly say to you? All I want is for you to take me back and I really should know by now that you really don't want me back and that it really is over between us. 

So I close with this letter saying that I am happy for you, no matter what you do in life. I wish nothing but the best for you and I will gladly reconsider your offer to be friends with you. But right now, I am doing all that I can to not think of you as my former lover, but as my friend. Hopefully, we'll get to that wavelength. Perhaps our friendship will be greater than our romantic relationship. Until then, you know where to find me. 

Sincerely, 

 

Poe Dameron 

P.S. If you still have my jacket, I would very much like it back the next time we go out for lunch. At least let's keep seeing each other every month for lunch. 

P.S.S. I'm still not over you. Eventually, I will be but hopefully, this too shall pass and I can move on.


End file.
